Another birthday arrived, and my always thoughtful son, Jeffrey, came over with a gift. This gift was to take my DNA and send it to a facility where it would be matched with all the DNA records on file. I thought it was a great gift because it would help my children find any medical records that may influence their lives and give me some indication of where I came from. Wouldn’t it be helpful to my children if they knew what diseases ran in my family? I thought so, and maybe even twins somewhere in there. Maybe we are related to someone famous; the possibilities are endless. Now that is exciting. Not knowing anything about my family on either side was the biggest motivation. There was always that secret thought that I’d find my father.

Following the instructions, I did the swab and mailed it off. Normally, I forget afterward, but this time I wondered if maybe it might just be an aid to find my father. Some time passed, and I received an email from the company. It has some news for me. With excitement and higher expectations than I should have had, I opened it. The big news is that I come from Britain. There are some Scandinavian and Norway bits in there, also. To my astonishment, there was barely a drop of German. I thought it would be heavy in the German area due to my father’s name, Hendrickson. That sounds German to me. Okay, so now I’ve learned that my ancestors come from Northern Europe and Britain. Last I heard, that is where most of us originated, anyway. Not knowing much about history or geography, the feeling was disappointment, and once again, who am I? I thought of the founding fathers of the United States and knew at that moment I was just like everyone else who sailed over from Britain in 1492. (Columbus sailed the ocean blue). Just like everyone else, it seemed pretty far-fetched.

There were probably twenty-three pages of information and statistics sent to me. I really did not know what most of it meant. I was able to decipher a bit, such as “persons with my DNA tend to recoil from the smell of asparagus”. Now there’s a fact to add to my resume!

Some years passed, and one day I received an email stating that I had a 2nd cousin who had registered on the same DNA site. Asking if I would like to know the information, and of course, I said yes. Soon, I was on another page, looking at a name that meant nothing to me. Apparently, we shared one of the same parents or grandparents, or great-grandparents. The name was totally unfamiliar to me. I sent a little note asking if he had heard anything about my father or had ever heard of him. Who was this gentleman, and how do we connect with one another? Much more time passed, and it appeared he was not getting my email or was not interested enough to reply. This was no surprise to me. I had mastered dealing with and hiding disappointment.

I had been emailing and sending handwritten letters for years to persons with a similar name to my father. Of the few responses I got, nothing ever led me in his direction. I did get more curious and wondered about this second cousin. For some reason, I was willing to pay the price to have a subscription to Ancestry. Then, in 2022, things began to happen. I’d love to say “I found,” but that would be incorrect. Some distant relatives found me. One in particular was known as the “family geologist”. He was incredible, with the drive of a dog on a rabbit; he pursued all avenues. What a great person with a hobby that connected people. So, he led me to find my father. Turned out he lived only 2 hours away from me for many years.

They say alcoholism runs in the family. In my case, I knew so few of my relatives and had never seen any of them drink, ever. That was also weird, but I never thought about it until I began to get sober myself. I could never figure out where it came from for me. Oh, of course, it was a coping mechanism that I needed and, quite frankly, helped me deal with what I considered a hard life. One that I had never been taught any skills before I found drugs and alcohol with did the trick just fine. Anyway, all I had to do was look at the picture of my father. Really, was “THAT” my father? The only picture I had ever seen was his wedding picture. There he and my mother stood so beautifully. He was all decked out in his Marine uniform, and my mother with a beautiful wedding dress. He was very handsome. The picture was from 1954. So I’m looking at this man with white gray hair and a huge “whiskey nose”, and I realize that it is confirmed later that THAT IS WHERE alcoholism runs in my family. Finally, I found out something about me and my dad. I found him by his obituary; he had passed away in 2008, in the same state I lived, Florida. So much for finding my dad and finding out why he never came around. I read his obituary, which mentioned some kids and grandkids. Says he had a lot of friends and “was loved by all”. Oh really? That’s nice, I’m guessing.

Well, as time passed, I found out that when he passed away, he was married to his fourth or fifth wife. The children listed in the obituary were all hers before she ever met him. Then my diligent cousin mentioned to me that he had some other children. Not only did he have other children, but he remembered seeing a letter that was addressed to me, somewhere on that site. He would try to find it….Well, he did !! It was a letter from a woman describing herself as looking for her sister. She knew her mother had been killed in a car accident when she was only five. She was my father’s next child. He had remarried and had two more children, a daughter and a son. I was the girl she was looking for, oh my God. Shock ran through me, coupled with excitement. I had not gotten to meet my father, but I have a sister and another brother somewhere. Then I found out my father had a total of five children, with me being the oldest. Now, suddenly, I have four siblings I know nothing about. It was a lot to handle. Also, those siblings were not mentioned in his obituary. Why? He never stuck around after the children were born. He was a heavy drinker who loved to party (that’s where I got that), but was never willing to be responsible for any, not even one of his own children. He abandoned them all, starting with me.

I compiled an email response to this letter my cousin had sent me from my sister, and I sent it off. It was the year 2019. Every day, I would check Ancestry to see if she replied. Then I started checking every week and month, then just occasionally. Well, maybe she had passed away, I thought. I saw her picture; she called herself Waterfalls on the site. She was very pretty with white hair and two years younger than me. Some years passed, and I got on and off Ancestry at times. Then one day in 2022, there was a message in my inbox on Ancestry. It was from her, my sister !!

She had found my response to her initial letter, and she was excited! She wanted to meet me and was full of gratitude that I responded. She said I looked just like my mother. She lived in another state and had two children who also had children. I was a sister and an aunt all of a sudden; it was very exciting.